In FilTrip’s first episode of Season 3, Carmina and Patch discuss some of the Philippines’ slowly fading traditions. Adding to the episode’s depth are conversations with two special guests, who add perspective to this very important topic. Join Carmina and Patch as they explore origins of some rituals, possible reasons for their slow demise, and what we can all do to keep them alive.
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In FilTrip’s first episode of Season 3, Carmina and Patch discuss some of the Philippines’ slowly fading traditions. Adding to the episode’s depth are conversations with two special guests, who add perspective to this very important topic. Join Carmina and Patch as they explore origins of some rituals, possible reasons for their slow demise, and what we can all do to keep them alive.
To support FilTrip, go to the Patreon page here and PayPal page here.
Visit https://filtrip.buzzsprout.com. Drop a note at thefiltrip@gmail.com.
Thanks to FilTrip's sponsor SOLEPACK. Visit thesolepack.com for more details.
See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for Privacy Policy.
Okay. State your name and your age.
Dante:Dante Escara . I'm seven years old.
Carmina:And what grade are you in?
Dante:Second grade.
Carmina:What do you think it means when Lala asks you to bless?
Dante:I have no idea what, You have an idea.
Carmina:You know what it's called in Tagalog, right ?
Dante:Yeah.
Carmina:What?
Dante:I don't know what it's called.
Carmina:It's called Mano .
Dante:Okay.
Carmina:Why do you think Lala asks you to do that?
Dante:I don't know.
Carmina:In the Philippines, it's a sign that you respect your elders.
Dante:Okay.
Carmina:Why do you think she asks you to do that? Just because,
Dante:Just because it's shows you respect to and elder .
Carmina:Right. And you respect Lola, right?
Dante:Yeah.
Carmina:So every time you see her, she doesn't even need to ask you to do it, you just do it, right? Yeah. Ask. Welcome to Filtrip, a podcast where we explore everything fun, weird, and in between about the Philippines. Hi Patch.
Patch:Hi, Carmina.
Carmina:Welcome to 2024 and Filtrip's third season.
Patch:I was thinking Carmina. If we were welcoming someone in our home, we would generally say kumain ka na ba? <Laugh> . Have you eaten <laugh> ? Yes.
Carmina:And boy, did we eat during the holiday season.
Patch:I just came to mind because obviously , uh, the topic that we're going to talk about now is Filipino traditions.
Carmina:Today's trip is about fading Filipino traditions. And the clip that you heard is my nephew Dante, who's seven years old. I thought it would be a good beginning to our episode from the perspective of a 7-year-old who is a Filipino American. I was just curious whether he knew what the gesture was that he was doing, which kind of establishes some of our assumptions about whether the younger generation, especially the younger generation growing up here, understand the customs that we're trying to introduce in their lives.
Patch:First of all, I'm glad to learn that your family is still practicing this custom of, uh, mano po Mm-Hmm. < affirmative>, which is one of the things that we are going to talk about. And it's really impressive that you are continuing with that tradition, even though in that clip, of course, he's seven years old, doesn't really understand. Having said that, a nd I was surprised to learn, we have some similar traditions with our fellow Asian countries, either kissing o f the hand or putting the hand in the forehead as a sign of respect.
Carmina:Yeah. So it's salam in Indonesia and bersalam in Malaysia. Those are the two countries that I saw a similarity. And you know, we know we're a Catholic country, right? Or predominantly Christian and Catholic, and those countries are Islam. So isn't that interesting?
Patch:Your mom mentioned seeing a similar custom in Turkey. They kiss the hand first, and then that hand goes to the forehead to complete that ritual.
Carmina:And before you get so impressed with my family, <laugh> <laugh> , we will get to that part when we interview my mom about some of these , uh, fading traditions. And our listeners will understand why my nephew is now being made to do this. <laugh> . Okay, so Patch, let's break down this mano po. So first of all, the words mano po literally translated means your hand, please, in English, if we break down the steps, right? If you are a younger person, and I was elderly, you as the younger person would say this to me, mano po, which is a request for my hand, and I, as the elder would reach my hand out to you, you will put that hand on your forehead. And I, as the elder in turn, will say, kaawaan ka ng Diyos, or God bless you.
Patch:Generally speaking, you would practice this with an elder that is at least two generations older, typically not to your mom, let's say even as a young child, you don't do man po to your own mom, but you would do it to your grandmother.
Carmina:It's a very intimate gesture, basically. Okay ? Patch . So what is the origin of this tradition? And like with a lot of our traditions, there's apparently controversy about this. The commonly known we practice this during the Spanish colonial period.
Patch:I think that's because of what it's called, right? The term mano means hand in Spanish. Mm-Hmm,
Speaker 1:<affirmative> . But apparently there are pre-colonial writings that describe a similar gesture. The pre-colonial form of mano was described in these writings as kneeling and bowing or sitting on your heels in front of those with authority, taking their hands and putting them on your forehead or cheeks. And there are regional variations to the term mano po. We should mention that Mano po is Tagalog phrase in Kapangpangan it's called siklod in Bisaya it's known as amin, which is Hindu and Arabic and origins. And then in Maranao it's called siyong, and in Bicol it's mabisa.
Patch:Right? So Carmina why don't we listen to your mom? I learned a lot of interesting things from her when she was talking about this tradition of mano po and why she decided to continue this tradition with your family.
Carmina:Okay? Take it away, mom. We're talking about lost or slowly disappearing Filipino traditions, and we're interviewing Marge
Patch:<laugh>. <laugh>, okay? So specifically I have a question about Batangas , where you grew up. So for example, pagmamano my daughter, for example, I never taught her that. So when she sees her grandma , she doesn't do that. So how many more generations will that tradition not be passed on to ?
Marge:Even in my own family, my own children don't do it anymore. <laugh>. I'm not , I I've not done it. And I never also , uh, stress or, or demanded that they do it.
Carmina:So why, why didn't you not demand us? Do it?
Marge:Because I thought that it should come from you people, you know? Okay . It should not be imposed . Okay ? You should believe in the value of it, you know, which probably, probably you don't realize what it meant. What what it meant precisely is the blessing of the, of the older people who have had a wider experience of life and blessing or pagmamano means, you know, you're being given that blessing. But probably I didn't also understand it then. So I thought it was just a ritual. So I really didn't stress it too until it , it became lost . <laugh>. Mm-hmm . <affirmative> . And then eventually when we meet with relatives, then some of these , uh, younger people still do it. Just a show of respect, but not done regularly. Like in the family, at least in my family, even with my other siblings, I don't see it being done. It's more of the, you know, the kissing.
Patch:That's the new way of ,
Marge:Uh , that's the new way of reading .
Patch:Yes.
Carmina:So Patch, I have an interesting factoid to share with you, and I'll ask for your own experience. How do you know your elder is mad at you? And it has to do with the mano <laugh> .
Patch:I'd like to say that because I was a wonderful child. <laugh>, I never experienced that, but I'm assuming they skip you <laugh> when you're in line to do the mano po.
Carmina:No, it's actually even more , uh, deep than that.
Patch:Oh , I can sense trauma . I can sense trauma .
Carmina:<laugh> . You know, when they're not mad at you, they're just going to give their hand fully to you. Right? But what I've experienced in my own life, and it sometimes didn't even have to be that the elder would be mad at me sometimes because they were mad at my mom. <laugh> ,
Patch:Are you throwing your mom under the bus?
Carmina:<laugh> , as people will hear later, she's throwing me under the bus < laugh>. When someone is mad at you and they're an elder and you take their h and to mano, sometimes they'll just give you the tip of their fingers, <laugh>, he'll immediately know something was w rong. And instead of saying, God bless you, o r kaawan ka ng Diyos, silence
Patch:<laugh> , no blessing for you.
Carmina:And that cuts so deep , deep because they are metaphorically withholding their blessing. It's the ultimate rejection <laugh>
Patch:That hurts.
Carmina:So you've never experienced that, huh?
Patch:No, Carmina, believe it or not, some people don't.
Carmina:What does that say about me? Anyway, I guess the next logical thing that we can talk about is that word right after mano, which is the word Po, right?
Patch:That's right.
Carmina:So mano po is kind of a package deal. <laugh> Mano is the gesture, and the po is actually an honorific, po and opo, which in those two words, there is a slight variation, right? Because opo is kind of the respectful way to say yes. Po is just something that people add to their statements like mano po to indicate respect. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> . So Patch when, I was researching the origins of po and opo . There was a plausible explanation that I came across in pre-colonial Philippines. We talked about Filipinos belonging to different classes in society.
Patch:Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> .
Carmina:And there is a maginoo class.
Patch:The maginoo is a term for nobility.
Carmina:The maginoo class owned slaves in Pre Hispanic Tagalog in particular the honorific used to address the maginoo is poon or if you translate that in English, roughly translated it means Lord. So when a slave would address them, they would say, poon, poon ko or my L ord. If they were in conversation and the Lord was communicating with the slave, the response that the slave would usually give i s oo, meaning yes and poon meaning Lord, the full phrase would be, oo poon and then it contracted to o po, which is the respectful yes. Or just po indicating respect for that person. Let's hear from mom about this tradition.
Patch:Well, we started talking about using po and opo to , um, answer to our elders or someone older than you out of respect and <laugh> , I was telling Tita that when I'm talking to others, yes, I use it, but to be honest, I forget to , to use it when I'm talking to my own mom and apparently so do you Carmina?
Carmina:Yes.
Patch:<laugh>. <laugh> .
Carmina:How about you mom? Did you not lose that with your parents? I seem to remember that loosening too.
Patch:Uh , oh.
Marge:You know , but, but I lost it when I was older already. You lost it. Young <laugh> .
Patch:Oh , oh ,
Carmina:Snap.
Marge:I lost it when, I think when I got married, but not before that. Not before that.
Carmina:I also did not lose it before I was married, <laugh> . Anyway, I think as we get older though, it's because we're like getting more familiar, I guess, with our parents and we're viewing ourselves as more of equals rather than children.
Patch:Probably,
Marge:Probably, you know, I think one of the reason too is that especially my generation, we could not express ourselves. Our parents is , uh, probably a, a way of saying, you know, you can treat me, you can, you can tell me anything rather than suppressing whatever they want to say. Because in my family, we were not allowed to really express our opinions. I had one instance, I , I think I was 12 or 13 when I really did express my opinion and I got a slap . <laugh> <laugh>
Carmina:That cost you .
Patch:Yeah. I think that was more a generational thing, right? Yeah . They were stricter back then.
Marge:So I think when it came to my own family , the children were more, were given more leeway.
Patch:But I think Tita, you should not have given Carmina leeway. <laugh>. Okay .
Carmina:I took that leeway <laugh> and made it into a highway .
Marge:She knew when she had to stop <laugh> .
Patch:Okay . <laugh>
Carmina:Wasn't that a little bit spicy patch? I'm sure that you and the listeners could hear the defensiveness in my voice in <laugh> .
Patch:I was about to , I was about to say there was tension.
Carmina:On both our sides because I called her out just as she called me out because I do remember her also losing this a little bit, especially when she got to her thirties and forties. And I was observing , uh, you know, conversations between her and my grandparents. There definitely was more of a, a familiarity in some of their conversations in my mind. But of course I would never have dared mimic that. Right. Somehow you just knew that when our parents reached a certain age, they were kind of more casual in their conversations with our grandparents, but that we would never, ever be able to do that or get away with it.
Patch:She also mentioned how her generation did not really talk back, so to speak to their parents. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> . Right . That would be unimaginable as generations pass . The younger generation would be more relaxed. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> with these customs and traditions and , uh, <laugh> . I think it was evident in our conversation with your mom that we are more relaxed with her <laugh> and able to joke around with her a little bit.
Carmina:That's true. So before we leave this topic, did you read about this another apparent controversy that this term could have also originated from the honorific apo, which is usually found in the Ilocos region.
Patch:But what is the controversy?
Carmina:Apo would be used to refer to somebody like Apo Whang Od, who i s a very respected elder in the Ilocos region.
Patch:Oh, okay.
Carmina:Practices still the ritual of tattooing in that tradition. I read that it's very unlikely po or opo originated from apo, you know , being that the use of the word apple really has nothing to do with agreeing with an elder. It really is just an honorific to refer to somebody.
Patch:In relation to status. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> .
Carmina:And then the other one, there is no equivalent in Messiah of po or opo. I also read that some visayans were sometimes salty when being pressured to use this when in Manila or Luzon.
Patch:So they don't have a version of po and opo, as you know?
Carmina:I mean I'm sure they have other ways of respectfully addressing their elders. It just did not use those specific words.
Patch:Okay. All right . Another interesting thing that we talked to your mom about was the , uh, tradition of pamamanhikan. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> . I'm really grateful that we are able to speak to someone who went through that because courtship practices like the oamamahikan is not seen or practiced anymore.
Carmina:Yeah. Even in my case, I didn't experience pamamanhikan really in the traditional sense.
Patch:Me as well. pamamanhikan is a formal meeting between the families of the prospective bride and groom. So the man along with his family would visit the woman's family to seek their consent and blessings for the union. And this practice really emphasizes the importance of family approval for the union.
Carmina:Pamamanhikan roughly translated means to climb. That's literally what it means. And it probably originated from the act of a suitor, literally climbing stairs to the entrance of the house of the woman's family. And apparently there's a variety in the levels of formality with this, depending on region, also depending on the status of the family. And it's widely regarded <laugh> as a test run of rapport between the suitor first and then the suitor's family. Second.
Patch:Let's listen to your mom. Talk about how your dad courted her through pamamanhikan. Yes.
Carmina:My origin story, so to speak.
Patch:So Tita , so when you were in the courtship stage, <laugh> , there's this thing called pamamanhikan, right?
Marge:Oh yeah. That was a , a major requirement. If somebody is serious in courting you and the requirement is to come over to the house once a week. Yeah. Oh, okay. And you visit the family. And also in my family, it's only for an hour. Not more than an hour.
Patch:Did your parents know ahead of time? Did they get permission or did they just , did they schedule it? No, no.
Marge:You have to ask permission, Uhhuh <affirmative> and say that somebody's coming to visit and they can either say yes or no. But I guess when you say that to them, it's implied that it's something serious.
Carmina:So how did you know to do that?
Marge:It has always been a practice. They, they believe that you don't meet in the street . You don't date.
Patch:<laugh> . Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>
Marge:<laugh> . You , you have to.
Patch:It's scandalous.
Marge:It's scandalous to me . <laugh> .
Carmina:But how did you know who told you that that was what you needed to do?
Marge:From what you , I mean that's, that has been a given practice. They probably, they said so.
Patch:Okay. And also probably it was so common before that you just see it and then that's what everyone does. So you just continue.
Marge:Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> , it's expected that the man's family come, but in my case, it was only my husband who came. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . He had no family to bring over. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> . It was like a surprise. But you know, <laugh> , at least he came.
Carmina:Mom, can you tell the story about the uh, chocolates?
Marge:Oh, when you come to visit, you have to bring something. So my husband used to bring chocolates and he brought the local, locally made chocolate. And usually whatever he, the man brings to share it to the family at dinner. So when we were eating the chocolate, my mother said, oh , this is a local chocolate. So when I talk with my husband, he said, you have to bring some imported chocolates. <laugh> . He began bringing Baby Ruth <laugh> .
Carmina:And then Lola approved
Marge:After that . <laugh> ? Not really, not yet, but I guess because she has been coming weekly. Mm-Hmm? <affirmative> . I think he did it for a year.
Patch:Oh wow. Yeah . Weekly for a year. Okay. Yeah .
Carmina:That was a lot of chocolates, <laugh>.
Marge:Then when I was in the province, he would come to visit travel like for a three hour ride in the bus and then just have lunch and then go back again .
Patch:<laugh>. Wow. That that's true. Love <laugh> . I don't think that happens anymore . No , no .
Marge:It doesn't happen anymore .
Patch:Yeah , yeah . Yeah .
Marge:And then sometimes it's also a tradition, especially when it's the first child of the family who gets married. Especially in my case, I was the elder , I was the first one. But , uh, the father would request the future husband that when they get married, they stay in the house with them.
Patch:Oh Okay. For how long As
Marge:As long as you want it .
Patch:Oh. So
Marge:I , I didn't know about that. That's only when I got married already that I learned that, you know, my father requested that we stay. So I said to my husband, why did you agree <laugh> ? Then he said, can I say no, <laugh> .
Patch:Oh that's true. <laugh> . So probably you see that tradition again, not necessarily because of tradition, but because of economic <laugh> reasons, you have to live with the parents.
Marge:Well, in the case, in the case of like for instance, for uh , for sons who are getting married and if the son is not stable, then probably they might ask that they stay over.
Patch:Right? Exactly. But
Marge:In my case it was not. And I said I was not aware of it. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> . And I said, why did you agree <laugh> ? <laugh> . We stayed there only for one, one year. That's it. One year.
Patch:One year.
Marge:Then we left . Yeah .
Patch:Okay ,
Carmina:Thanks.
Patch:Thank you Tita.
Marge:You're welcome.
Carmina:Thank you Po.
Patch:Thank you Paul. <laugh>. <laugh> .
Marge:Walang ano man. Okay. Bye
Carmina:Bye . The way Patch the chocolate brand snafu that my father committed. Can you imagine if my mom didn't tell him about my lola's preference for us branded chocolates? <laugh> . I would not have been here in front of you. <laugh> .
Patch:You have a lot to be grateful for Baby Ruth.
Carmina:Exactly. That was my lola's favorite chocolate, I think.
Patch:Oh , we talked about a lot of these courtship rituals in a previous episode, right Carmina?
Carmina:Yeah, we did talk about it in season two. Courtship Pinoy Style is the title of the episode. So if people really want to dig into the pre-colonial Filipino courtship rituals, listen to that episode. So Patch, I just wanted to ask you, since you have a daughter. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> , are you going to revive this tradition?
Patch:Yeah, I was thinking of that. I will insist on it. I think she would like it. I think she is making every attempt to reconnect with her roots. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . So yeah, absolutely. I would revive it. Especially , uh, the part where they give , um, gifts. <laugh>,
Carmina:I approve.
Patch:Exactly. But take or Mina . During our conversations with your mom, we also talked a little bit about how we address siblings. We talked about kuya, ate.
Carmina:O that's right. We address for example, an older sister ate or an older brother kuya. That was interesting too.
Patch:So apparently kuya is a combination of two Chinese words ko, which means elder brother and ah , a term for kinship and ate from the same Chinese origin plus chi elder sister.
Carmina:Remember when we were talking about Chinese Filipinos and how they hispanized their names? That's why there's a lot of Chinese Filipinos with names with the suffix of Co like Tantoco or Cojuangco. That is to designate that the origin of that clan is from an elder brother of that line.
Patch:Oh.
Carmina:But I thought it was interesting too that you mentioned you never practiced this in your family, right?
Patch:No, it is interesting. I mean, I would never address my older sister as ate. I think she would give me daggers. <laugh> looks , daggers.
Carmina:Is it because of the number of years between you?
Patch:I don't know . We , we never practiced it.
Carmina:It's also funny because in Korea, even ours matter in the way they address each other.
Patch:Right. So your siblings still use ate until now?
Carmina:Oh yeah. Definitely. And it's so funny because my niece of course now is also an ate, right?
Patch:Oh, right. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> .
Carmina:So sometimes when we're together and my brother says ate, oh , and sometimes we respond to him simultaneously, then he has to clarify who he's talking to. 'cause he's trying to model it for my nephew. And that's why he calls his daughter ate. Lots of confusion when that happens. <laugh> . So before we wrap up the episode Patch, I have a very thought provoking question for both of us.
Patch:Okay.
Carmina:Why do you think all these customs are disappearing?
Patch:Well, I really think it , you know, it's one of the challenges of modernization. It's getting more difficult to preserve these traditions. Looking back at recent years, like Covid how did that affect those who are still practicing Mano?
Carmina:Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> ,
Patch:You know, that disappeared for a while and then they have to bring it back. So that's one of the things that happened. Right?
Carmina:Right. And I did read that it did have a negative impact because it's a very intimate gesture and a very surefire way of spreading the disease. Especially during a time when we were trying to protect our elders. So if you can imagine if young kids didn't observe it during that period, it's not really seared into their memories the way it was during our time.
Patch:Yes. A lot of these traditions really, they don't necessarily have to be taught, but they have to be seen.
Carmina:Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> , they have to be modeled. Yeah.
Patch:So hopefully more of these traditions are brought back into the psyche of Filipinos. Right. And everyday life.
Carmina:And so the other thing too that I read, which I thought was really funny, but also very plausible, is the constant pressure to remain young. So on the flip side, the older generations are the ones who even don't want to practice it for this desire to remain young. So if these gestures like the mano po or the po are being done, it's a signal that they are old and some people don't want that.
Patch:Right.
Carmina:And then lastly, I think what I got from the interview from my mom is even she in the beginning didn't appreciate all of these traditions when she was growing up and didn't think that it was important to instill it in her family until she got to a certain age. So maybe that's another reason.
Patch:Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> . It's kind of like leaving a legacy.
Carmina:Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And you really don't start thinking about that until you reach a certain part of your life.
Patch:Yeah . So before
Carmina:So before it's too late, Patch. < laugh>.
Patch:No , I'm serious .
Carmina:Specifically directed to you
Patch:<laugh> . I know. I'm seriously thinking about these things. Isn't that one of the reasons why we also wanted to do this podcast, but we explore, we remember , and we also preserve.
Carmina:Hopefully pass it on to the younger generation.
Patch:Yeah, exactly.
Carmina:We just admitted that we're part of the older generation. So don't be surprised if someone manos you. <laugh> . Okay. So with that Patch, why don't you take us home?
Patch:Opo Carmina <laugh> . And with that, that's our episode. We hope you join us on our next trip, <laugh> .
Carmina:O siya, siya.
Patch:Ingat po. Thanks for listening to FilTrip with Carmina and Patch. Support FilTrip through Patreon or PayPal. And follow us on Instagram and Twitter. Subscribe at Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever all podcasts are downloaded.
Carmina:Thanks to Filtrip's sponsor Solepack, a functional shoe accessory bag. Visit the soulpack .com for more details.
Patch:Email us at the fieldtrip@gmail.com .